Driving to Patuxent

My name is Kevyn. (I'm really Kevin Jr. just to protect the innocence of my father) and I'm starting this blog to meander down my memory to stirrup some of the stupid things that I've done in my lifetime. I am a 3 year and change sober crystal meth addict and I've done some idiotic things with or without drugs.

When I was in High School I had a 1984 Chevrolet Chevette. It had been sold to me for a dollar by my grandparents and I had treated it as if it was worth a dollar. So it had been in accidents and not very properly taken care of. By the time I was 17 I was openly gay and in love with any boy that would cross my path. This time I had a boy crush on a boy in Patuxent, MD named Andy. Andy was a little younger and didn't have any transportation so if I wanted to see him I would have to drive down to Patuxent, which was 3 1/2 hours away from my hometown in Hatfield, PA.

As which most of my stupidity revolves around boys, it is important to mention that at this point I had a hole in my brake line in my car so whenever I would step on the brakes all of the brake fluid would squirt out. I constantly had to carry quarts of brake fluid to keep refilling my brake fluid so I would be able to somewhat stop.

Should I have gotten this fixed...? Yes. Was I too poor to get it fixed? Yes. So here is where most normal people would just find other ways to get places til they could save up money to get there car fixed. I on the other hand being a somewhat disillusioned addict decided that I would make this trip to Maryland without brakes to see a boy who I had no chance with. The best part of it is that I didn't just put myself in harms way, I decided to take two other friends with me in my car to drive with me.

As with most of my problems, I squeaked down to Patuxent unscathed. It was scary at time going down hills or having to make sudden stops around DC, but my refilling and squirting brakes made it to the southern tip and back.

I'm looking back now almost 15 years later and realizing that I would never ever EVER do that now. I ask myself "what was I thinking?" And here is my answer...

I was hormonal and young. I was in love with being in love. I had known 3 gay people by that point and I just wanted to be accepted. That journey to Patuxent is something that I have been doing for 15 years. It was exciting and it was new. I wouldn't drive to to Maryland without brakes for a man now, but I have to remember that there is always a small part of me that wants to.